Back to School: The Parent/School Relationship

Sending your food-allergic child to school can be a bit scary. We wonder if our child will be able to handle the whole food issue when we aren’t there to protect them and read labels. We pray that the teachers will be as concerned as we are and realize this is a serious issue in an emotional way just as much as it is physical. Tons of questions and ‘what-if’s’ flood our minds and sometimes finding the right balance between concern and worry can be tricky. But one place that balance is absolutely necessary is in the parent/school relationship. I thought I’d write a few things I’ve learned by doing and maybe they will help some of you to cultivate a healthy relationship and open communication between you and your child’s school.

1. Be proactive. Before your child starts school, find out their policy on food allergies, epipens and benadryl. Talk to the nurse. And as soon as you know who your child’s teacher is, get to know her. Make an info sheet about your child’s allergies explaining what she’s allergic to, what a reaction looks like, what to do if a reaction occurs {or if your child is exposed to an allergen}. Put emergency numbers on the sheet, as well as, a picture of your child’s face. That way any substitute teacher or helper will know exactly who your child is. A good print out for this type of form can be found here. You’ll also find other helpful forms there related to food allergies and school.
2. Be the Room Mom. At our school, every class has a designated Room Mom. The duties include overseeing parties and special events in the class {which always involve food} and doing other things to help the teacher out. I signed up to be my daughter’s Room Mom this year so that I can be directly involved in that. I have time to help out and I want to be there as much as possible when there’s food planning. When I’m planning the food, I can control what foods are offered to an extent. It’s a perfect scenario.
3. Pick your Battles. There will most likely be issues that arise that are out of your control. Unfortunately, we cannot protect our kids from feeling left out when the whole class is enjoying a yummy-looking snack that we weren’t aware of. The teacher may not remember to give you a head’s up when something involving food is coming up. Some things we just can’t help and we have to let our kids learn to adjust and grow through these issues without us. They will be stronger for it in the long run. But there will be issues that must be addressed. So, when that happens, go in with the right spirit and non-accusatory attitude. Remember: Kindness matters. We are totally invested in our children and it’s easy to get offended or offend when an issue with our child arises. Just keep your cool and try to look at it from every vantage point. The right attitude is key here to keeping a good relationship with your school and teachers.
4. Offer solutions. If there is a craft or art project {or anything} involving an allergen {i.e. milk cartons, hand soap with milk in it, etc.} be ready to offer a solution such as, ‘Can we use empty water jugs instead of milk cartons? or Can I provide the handsoap for the class? or Can I come in and check out the supply of hand soap brought in to be sure it’s safe for my child? Don’t just tell the teacher there’s a problem. Have a solution. Afterall, we are the ones with a heightened sense of awareness about allergens, not them. As much as they care for our children, they are still able to overlook things that we would immediately notice.
5. Say Thank You. When things go right, when the teacher takes special measures to keep your child safe, say thank you. When a staff member, teacher or helper goes out of their way to make your child feel special, say Thank You! Recognize their efforts. Send flowers or a card. Do anything to let them know you really appreciate what they are doing for your child {and for your peace of mind} because they are really having to make an effort to remember. What’s second nature to me, is often a difficult and stressful thing for the teacher who is not constantly reading labels and scanning the environment for unsafe allergens. A small thank you goes a long way.

I hope these are helpful tips. I would love to hear some of your tips. If you have some, leave a comment for the rest of us!

Ignorance is NOT Bliss…

I came across this article from Time Magazine through this website I read quite frequently and I must admit it made me mad.  Obviously, the writer of the article is clueless.  She suggests that there is just too much hype over food allergies in the classroom.  That is so absurd.  If you’ve never experienced someone having a severe allergic reaction, let me describe it to you.  Imagine your child eating a snack and after just one bite she begins choking and coughing.  Her eyes are watering, her mouth and body break out into hives.  She’s scratching her skin to the point of bleeding and can barely catch her breath.  Her fingernails turn blue.  Now, she’s almost out of breath and fear is in her eyes.  This all happens within a minute or two.  This is what a severe allergic reaction looks like.  You have no time to think about how to help her, how to save her life.  You just act.  Did you know that an EpiPen will help her, but may not last long enough to get her to the hospital before her body reacts again?  Do you know how to use her EpiPen??  According to this article, most physicians don’t even know how to use an EpiPen!  Astonishing!  My daughter’s EpiPen Jrs came with a test pen – no needle – so that you can practice and know how to use it when the emergency happens.  Seriously, how many people will be able to read the instructions fast enough in such a high-pressure situation?  You better know how to use the pen before it happens!  I have a practice pen in my daughter’s tote bag, along with her EpiPens.  I have showed her babysitter how to use it and plan to teach my oldest daughter now that she is old enough to know and remember, just in case she’s with her sister when/if a reaction occurs.  Every second counts once a reaction occurs.  I don’t think anyone who has experienced a severe reaction could possibly minimize the risks involved in a classroom setting where food is present.  It is a life/death kind of situation for my daughter who has a very severe milk allergy, a peanut allergy and an egg allergy.  She will be in school in just over a year from now and you better believe I will be checking out her classroom setting and making sure there is an allergy-free policy in place before she goes to school.  It should be this way for ALL classrooms and schools.  I will not place my child’s life in the hands of ignorance.  It’s my duty as a parent to protect her from such situations and I will do everything in my power to make sure my voice is heard.  Food allergies can be life-threatening.  Educate yourself and your child’s caregivers for your child’s sake.